Some of those hipster bikes look really uncomfortable.
I ended up going out to Dan's Comp and they gave me an estimate of over $100 to fix Mike's bike. I was also informed it's a girl's bike. That set my testosterone into a blind rage, and I knew I had to dispose of it immediately, because how could I ever be caught on anything that isn't manly???
So then I spent a little over $200 on a Giant Boulder mountain bike. So far so good. I feel it was a worthy investment, and the guy that helped me (Alan or Aaron, can't remember) was a cool enough dude, and seemed to know his stuff.
Here is a photo of my ballerness: